be someone else at a party

We fear giving away too much; we fear people don't know the 'real me'. These contradictory impulses make the presentation of self in everyday life sometimes awkward. By 'trying to be ourselves' we often simply come over as self-centred or opinionated. "Being yourself' doesn't mean honouring every stray thought that flits through your cranium. Yet by 'faking it', trying to appear as something we manifestly are not, we eventually find that the mask slips and we stand naked and revealed- quelle horreur!

Yet there is a third option other than stumbling on. Be a different animal of your choice. This is an old impro trick. Enter a party as a cockeral, or a tiger, or a slug or a sloth or even a parakeet. Try yappy dog and big dog, rabbit and hamster. No one will 'see through you'; all that is happening is that you are providing a carrier wave for your real self. Which is maybe not what you think it is.

Once I went to a party and decided I would say the opposite of my real view on every subject. Another time I decided to say unfunny jokes and act totally unashamed at their awfulness. Both experiences were highly positive in many ways. As a way of getting attention they are unparalleled. And yet I also felt, bizarrely, that I was 'being myself' even when I was explaining something I didn't believe in. 

The key is: it was temporary. We are always trying to make masks permanent, but they need to be kept at a distance, ready to peel off and throw away. The real you is the one observing stuff happening, the aware you. It needs change and impermance to reveal itself. That's where the animal thing comes in. There is little chance you will try and act as a monkey for your entire life. Imagine shopping like one...

So you channel some inner animal in all your conversations. Depending on the event you will ned discretion in how far the inspiration goes. Dancing may seem easier than debating- but maybe not- I can easily imagine metaphorically crowing and squawking like a cockeral during a debate...The main thing is, you have a guiding image to hold on to, a source of animal energy to keep you going. And you won't tire, because that is part of the magic of the thing.