How to be a Digital Parasite

Yeah yeah- more whining about the all purveyouness of the interweb blah blah and bah bah and bahhumbug I'll continue yes I will! You see I have glimpsed a corner of a future field that may well be ours forever- I speak of the new job description: digital parasite or DP for short. DPing means using other people's digital connection when and where you need it. Other wise you are logged off, offline and uncontactable yessirree! You use an analogue camera (no traces) and then scan the pics at a place or at a friends. you need lots of friends who are normal (ie, still captivated by the interweb etc) who like you enough for you to cuckoo them (install your fat analogue butt on their digital sofa) and get surfing without berthing...

Serioulsy though folks, digital parasitism is like the digital version of colon cleansing- you may not need it but somewhere someone does...for sure. The DP types a message on typewriter and hands it to pal A who takes a pic and uploads this missive to Instagram, facebook whatever. Then other pals (B to F) spread this using the share button. DP may well have a site- otherwise known as a digital waterhole - where people may gather and drink deep as the lions and hyenas grumble and growl. He or indeed She may get donations at their waterhole which can be used to buy things on the interweb- go and use the library machine to do that- no phone shopping allowed. 

Being a DP means you need a proxy for airBNB etc but that is not so hard. The whole gamechanger is the fact that you will have so much more facetime with real people as you negotiate to piggyback and lig off their generousity.