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"Fabulous Storytelling" Mick Herron

I have been writing and publishing books on a variety of topics since my bestselling Angry White Pyjamas came out in 1997. Other bestsellers include Red Nile, a biography of the River Nile. In total I have written 15 mainstream books translated into 16 languages. The include creative non-fiction, novels, memoir, travel and self-help. My publishers include Harper Collins, Picador, Penguin and Hachette. I have won several awards including two top national prizes- the Somerset Maugham literary award and the William Hill sportsbook of the Year Award. I have also won the Newdigate Prize for poetry- one of the oldest poetry prizes in the world; past winners include Oscar Wilde, James Fenton and Fiona Sampson.

A more recent success was Micromastery, published by Penguin in the US and the UK as well as selling in eight other countries.

Micromastery is a way of learning new skills more efficiently. I include these methods when I coach people who want to improve as writers. If that's you, go to the section of this site titled I CAN HELP YOU WRITE. I have taught creative writing in schools and universities but I now find coaching and editing is where I can deliver the most value. In the past I have taught courses in both fiction and memoir at Moniack Mhor, the former Arvon teaching centre in Scotland.

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Thursday
Jun252009

cairo dawn taxi ride

Cairo. Dawn. Feral dogs roam in cowardly packs through the litter of the night before. No taxis: and I am late to a rendezvous about 3km away for a trip going to the desert. After a ten minute wait one lada hoves into view but I write it off as the front seats are both occupied. But it screeches to a halt and then backs up some. A black African in a suit with sweaty shirt and wide undone tie, cigarette smoking in his hand bids me to get in. It’s his ride but he’ll drop me off first he says with a magnanimous wave of the hand.

Hey thanks I say.

He says: I’m picking you up because you are foreigner not because you are white.

I see.

If you were Egyptian I would never pick you up. Never.

So where are you from I ask brightly.

Congo. Said so quickly I suspect he is really from Sudan but wants to keep it quiet.

Ok. We trundle along in silence, the driver, a middle aged Egyptian man stares straight ahead. He seems more foreign than the African for some reason and it is not just the language. I ask the Congo man- so what do you do?

Do you see me asking you what you do man? He replies.

No, sorry.

pause

I’m an ‘ustler. He says.

pause

So do you hustle women? I ask.

No, man no not that. Never.

pause

He offers me a cigarette. I decline. I realize he’s been drinking all night.

So you wanting me to ask you what you is doing here? He says with effort.

No. not really.

Ok man that’s good.

pause

That’s good. This said almost to himself.

More trundling along in silence- getting close to my destination now. He asks: What’s your number?

I give him my mobile number with some trepidation. He sees this and laughs.

Can’t come and get you through your phone in your pocket- not yet anyway anyhow!

See you then- thanks for stopping. He waves this away with drunken langor. Then says:

Remember I pick you up cause you is foreign to this town like me not because you is white.

 

Wednesday
Jun242009

something in the air

Yes, today there was something in the air so it seemed appropriate to offload a poem...

 

I cannot say what I want to say

The world is all wrong

School is a rotten con

Companies are corrupt

Governments stink

People are slaves if they have real jobs

I cannot say all this all the time

Because I send my kids to school

I work for a company

I voted for the government

I have a real job.

 

So I say it part time instead.

 

Tuesday
Jun232009

a few uplifting thoughts on extinction 

Since politics is the pursuit of power not truth anyone who believes what a politician says must be foolish, that said, what politicians say reveals something- what they think they can get away with. The Bush administration thought extinction was no big deal. The unfortunately named Craig Manson, assistant secretary of the interior in charge of fish, wildlife and parks said in 2003 that “the interests of developers should prevail over endangered species.” When asked in 2005 what the sunny side of extinction was he managed, “It’s presumptuous to suggest we know for sure [that extinction is bad] is a fact. And [concern about it] sort of flies in the face of Darwinian science.” It’s nice to think that Darwin, who’s taken a bit of a beating recently in US educational circles can still be relied on to support the exploitation and despoliation of the planet. Obama has spoken a lot about global warming but very little about extinction of species.

The first thing about extinction is it makes most folk either angry or depressed- unless of course you have shares in Alaskan oil exploration companies- and that’s most people in the world. You feel powerless. And the extinction is just the final nail, it’s what comes before, the absence, the disappearances of things that make life wonderful and full of diversity. I haven’t heard a cuckoo in years. Global warming or the more effective use of insecticides that target the diet of the cuckoo? Who knows? I just like hearing the sound of the thing. And it’s not just about wildlife. Of the five thousand odd languages spoken in the world it’s likely most will have become extinct in the next hundred years. Some think we could lose 90% of current world languages in that time. But am I learning  Dirari or Djawi, Australian Aboriginal languages with only one speaker still alive? Nope. The thing seems unstoppable, part and parcel of being on the roller coaster we call modern life. Roller coasters are fun- as long as you know they won’t end with a crash. And we don’t know. It’s the not knowing that gnaws at us, diminishes us.

If you look at how extinctions happen there are clues. Take the Great Auk, a big beaked odd looking sea bird about 30 inches high that became extinct in the North Atlantic 150 years ago. It liked to live in huge colonies. On Funk Island, off the Newfoundland coast there were over 10,000 until the population suddenly collapsed. For 300 years fisherman used the place as a convenient source of meat and feathers. The birds were excellent swimmers. When the fisherman began impounding them in little stone enclosures for future extermination you’d have thought they’d have got the picture. They could have escaped. The Atlantic is full of rocky islands and skerries suitable for a Great Auk family. But they stayed put. Auk colonies can and did split up- but only when their numbers were above a certain threshold. When the number dipped below that they lost the will to escape their fate. Biologists have observed this in bacteria- it’s called quorum sensing- and when a film of bacteria dips below a certain size it ceases to be ‘intelligent’ and fails to cooperate to repel attackers. It explains the sudden catastrophic drop in numbers for birds like the passenger pigeon, which went from numbering millions in the mid 19th century (there were competitions to kill them where you didn’t even get a prize unless you killed at least 30,000, flocks of the bird used to darken the sky for several days as they flew by) to the pitiable last specimen that died in 1914. Of course they were hunted but that didn’t wipe them out. Somewhere along the line the passenger pigeon lost the will to go on. Small dispirited groups just flapped around and stopped breeding. No one knew that they were doomed once their total numbers dropped below a seemingly safely large number. Nobody knew.

Pursuit of science can make things worse. The Stephen’s Island wren has the undeniable singularity of being discovered by a lighthouse keeper’s cat called Tibbles. As a new species the dead wrens were dutifully dispatched to scientific institutions eager for them around the world. Eventually the ever eager research assistant Tibbles could find no more. The Stephen’s Island wren had become extinct.

When we try to save species our ignorance is also on display. The Polynesian snail Partula turgida became extinct at 5.30pm on Jan 1 1996. We know that precisely because it was part of a conservation program set up by London zoo in 1987. Nine years, one small snail, and we still couldn’t stop it dying out.

But are we really bothered? Aren’t they still plenty of other snails out there that haven’t even been discovered, yet alone found to be endangered? It’s possible to rationalize away such facts but they do not deal with the central issue: extinction gets us down. It diminishes us to know that living things are dying out, that diversity is being replaced by homogeneity. Perhaps in some grand scheme of things we are all connected, we are quorum sensitive to all of life, that the disappearance of diversity makes us just that bit less intelligent, flexible, human. I don’t just mean on a material level, where lack of diversity means a greater risk from any one disease or disaster, I mean on a subliminal level, the mysterious level where the will to go on living resides.

Extinction is the symptom, the cause is the vast increase in sameness the world over. This year I noticed for the first time that fisherman on the Nile now use outboard motors rather than oars. From my purely selfish point of view I regret this change in a 5000 year old tradition. I don’t watch them fishing anymore. One more thing to wonder at has disappeared. Drive across the States and every town looks the same. The old coffee shops in Midan Tahrir in Cairo have been replaced by KFC and Hardee’s burgers. The global village isn’t one big village- it’s the same village endlessly replicated. One extreme interpretation of Darwin is that the final outcome of natural selection is single species proliferation. That may explain the success of MacDonald’s but does it mean more? Are humans genetically programmed to be the only species around?  Animals can’t alter and control their niche, we can, up to a point. It remains to be seen whether we can also control hurricanes, tidal waves, spiraling summer temperatures, the collapse of the Gulf Stream.

No one is at the controls. That’s the subtext of all our talk about extinction. We need to be rid of the idea that someone out there, some politician or ecowarrior, will somehow solve the problem. We’re on the roller coaster and no one knows if it will crash or not. We can be sure that more development will make things worse, we can be sure that the world will become more dispiritingly the same, with less and less diversity but we also need to openly acknowledge that we haven’t planned this. Neo conservative planners who fondly imagine same-world will be safe-world, that they are somehow controlling development, promoting the good of all, are like Bart Simpson proving his skill as a dog trainer, ordering a dog to sniff its butt as it goes about its everyday business of… sniffing its butt.

To acknowledge that extinction is beyond our control is subtly different from simply giving up. It means refocusing on what we can do rather than what we can’t. The obscure art of making traditional birch bark canoes almost died this century. One man, Edwin Tappen Adney, collected all the information he could on the subject. His book, “Skin boats and bark canoes of North America’ spurred enthusiasts to seek out the last few Indians still making these wonderful boats made from bark stitched together with pine roots. Now you can go on a two week course to learn how to build them. Something rare and valuable has been saved.

Institutions,  governments, pressure groups may want to preserve things of value but they are strangely better at preserving themselves. Both the American bison and the Chinese Pere David’s deer were preserved from extinction by highly motivated individuals, not ponderous institutions. The threat of extinction, be it to animals, languages, ways of life, human skills is a wake up call to cease believing someone else will solve the problem. The solution begins with rejecting the lack of diversity in one’s own life, of refusing to accept the small extinctions forced on us by an addiction to convenient living. The concern about extinction has a real effect if it encourages us to make our own lives less like everybody else’s. If it makes us more willing to seek out our real nutritional need for that sense of delight that comes from things being various.

Jacques Cousteau famously pronounced a few years ago, that “in ten years time the oceans will be dead”. They aren’t but he is. Fear of global extinction is fear for ourselves, fear about where we are going. But it doesn’t have to be a paralyzing fear. 

 

 

 

Monday
Jun222009

Rohlfs Expedition 2009-10

In another existence, almost, I help run camel expeditions in remote parts of the Egyptian desert. This year, from December 27th, we are doing the ultimate camel trip ever- certainly in the Sahara- maybe the world- 600km from Dakhla to Siwa oasis in the footsteps of German explorer Gerhard Rohlfs. It’s a tough journey- we shall aim to average 25 km a day for 27 days, most of which will be walked, though riding the camels will also be possible. We are looking for exactly the right people to fill the last few places in the expedition. There can be no more than seven and those that come must have an enthusiasm and sense of humour that will carry them through an arduous adventure. Also a decent level of walking fitness is required. And it won’t be cheap either. If you are interested, and it isn’t for everyone I realize, then go to theexplorerschool.com for information on the homepage and also under ‘new stuff’.

 

Monday
Jun152009

tomorrow is kiteout day

Yep- get that old kite out and fly it! Or make one or buy one. It'll be windy- never fear.

Once a year everyone should:

1. See the sun rise.

2. Sleep out under the stars (tents allowed).

3. Fly a kite.

 

Why? No idea! Just seems right to me. The more you do of the above the better you feel.

So tomorrow June 16th knock one off the list and fly that kite.

Sunday
Jun142009

no does not exist

Another diamond bullet moment the other day. If you recall the movie Apocalypse Now, Marlon Brando in the persona of Colonel Kurtz decribes his conversion to extreme guerrilla tactics as ‘as if I were shot with a diamond bullet between the eyes’. Alright, enough lame excuses for quoting favourite movies- my realization:

No does not exist.

What? Of course it does. What I mean is: no to some request or other does not exist. What? I just asked for a chocolate and mango icecream- they said no they sold out. OK- imagine the vendor was not an employee of baskin robbins but a really good friend. A close friend of such closeness that they would leave their work and go to the nearest store and buy you that icecream. There are no ‘noes’ only degrees of closeness.

Let me explain further. You have a child asking endlessly for a lollypop. They ask and ask and never give up. After a while you start thinking- why not? Because saying no doesn’t make them go away! Saying yes will.

This is the diamond moment: when you are in a relationship where saying no will not make you go away then there is no ‘no’. You’re in, buddy. It’s just a question of time.

Al Fayed- the owner of Harrods got his start by marrying the sister of billionaire Adnan Kashoggi. When you are the brother in law saying no won’t make you disappear. So you hear yes a lot more.

Why do people ‘press flesh’ to get work. Because that creates the impression they are around, that by saying no to them you’ll be still seeing them but that ‘no’ will be hanging in the air between you.

If you want to get a yes, get close. You’ll find enough information to frame your request irresistibly. And you’ll be so close that even if they say no once you’ll still be there, lining up the next request, subtly different this time.

Knowing this is a great source of strength. Actually closeness doesn't mean a cloying familiarity it is more 'the right to be there'. If you can develop 'a right to be there' you can start being observant. When you have observed how someone ticks you can frame the request in an irresistible way. Now you need never feel anything is beyond your reach! All you need is the time and energy to get close, be observant and frame the request correctly- again and again. If you think you only have one shot at something you're not close enough. Stop shooting blindly and get closer, earn 'the right to be there'- like Steven Spielberg getting into Universal as a lowly editorial assistant- he had the right to be there and he exploited it. 

There is no ‘no’ only distance between people. Get close to your boss, client, wife, editor, child, agent, teacher today. Get so that when they say no, you’re still around, working how to put it a different way.

The easiest person to say no to is someone you’ve never met, and will never meet, who sends you an email. Actually the form this takes is not even replying. Exchange a few emails and you merit a reply…of no. But get on the phone, take them out for lunch, send them a birthday card, ask after their family…now you’re getting closer.

It helps if you actually like them too…

And of course, the converse is true too. People who seek to get close to you but you don’t actually like them- probably they are after a ‘yes’ of some kind too.

 

Saturday
Jun132009

something someone said

If pigs might fly then swine flu.